Alright let's have you
You, you and you get fell in
Company wait for it
You're in the army now

Up two three four
Up two three four

The day you start in the Army Game
You think you'll surely die of shame
A thousand sergants take your name
Then stand around and gloat

They shave your whiskers and cut your hair
They give you something brown to wear
The trousers don't fit anywhere
And neither does the coat

They read you the rules
They lend you the tools
They teach you to be a soldier
So if you get caught
It's nobodies fault
You can't say that no-one told ya

Your in the army your in the gate
You might as well accept your fate
A future in finding 
A curse on the day that you came
'Cos your in the looney gooney barmy
Army Game

"Here spring"
"What's up bootsie me old son"
"My feet are killing me"
"I wouldn't like to tell you what your voice is doing to me"

So here you are in the army game
You may be old you may be lame
They get you marching just the same
You never seem to stop

It's double columns and single files
Across the fields and over styles
For miles and miles and miles and miles
You march until you drop

You get back to camp
Deshevelled and damp
There isn't a thing on telly
You fall into bed
You're practically dead
The next thing you know reveille

The back you go to the old routine
There's spuds to peel and boots to clean
There's brass to be polished
Until it's as bright as a plane

That's the push and shovin' ever loving
Army game

"Gaw ain't it lovely to be in the British Army eh?"
"Smashing"
"Belt up Popeye"

Sing high sing up for the Army Game
What fun there is it's all the same
And there is nothing like a game
To brighten up your life

Thetrow a dance at the village hall
But though you think you'll have a ball
The officers have grabbed it all
Except the vicars wife

You love them you do
And they love you to
You're willing to make a wager
And who do you love
All others above
The company sargent major

And sure expected there'll come the day
You'll pack your bags You're on your way
You're out of the army at last but I'm ready to claim
That you're gonna miss the good old barmy
Army Game

